• Who decides what you think with?

    This website is dedicated to

    the Possibility that your answer

    to that question will soon be: "I do."

  • The literal translation of meme from German to English is:

    The smallest sense-caring structure.










    Memes are the distinctions, models, decisions, stories, conclusions, thoughtmaps, and concepts, that you think with.



    Things are the way they are... or, are they?


    If you expect someone to rescue you, then you make yourself into a victim...

    waiting... blaming... resenting...


    If you take responsibility for your situation then you are starting over.


    It may not seem fair... it is not fair...

    But if you are still alive, you can start over.


    Who made your situation the way it is?


    If 'they' did... then you must wait around for them to care enough to come and make it better for you.

    'They' may be dead. 'They' may not care.

    You may be waiting a long time...


    If YOU made your situation the way it is,

    then you are keeping it the way it is.

    This is called radical responsibility.


    This is the choice you get now.

    Wait around... or start over.


    How are you keeping it the way is is?

    How did it all begin?

    How did you start thinking and making decisions?

    What have you decided so far?

    Do you actually like what you have decided?


    It began with using some ideas...

    Whose ideas do you use?

    Where did they come from?

    Do you still like those ideas?

    How do those ideas limit you?

    How do those ideas support you to create what you want?


    Which 'you' is doing the wanting?


    What you think with determines what you can think about.


    The ideas you think with are called memes.


    Memes are like genes.

    In the same way that genes are the smallest instructions for the design of your physical body...

    memes are the smallest instructions for the design of your intellectual body... your mind.


    Your memes are what you think with.

    When you think about what you think with you get a chance to start over.


    Whose mind is it, anyway?

    If it is your mind, then you could change your mind.

    Your mind is yours to play with and make into whatever you want...


    What you think about is what you know about...

    In other words, if you don't know about something how can you think about it?

    What you know about is the contents of your thinking and perceiving.


    What you use to think about that contents is your thoughtware.

    Where do you get your thoughtware?

    Here is one way to ask this question.

    If you cannot already think and speak, would they let you into kindergarten or gradeschool?


    So then, where do you learn to think and speak?

    At home, from you parents, before you go to school.

    This means you adopted your basic thoughtware to survive in connection with your parents before you went to school.

    Where did your parents get their thoughtware?

    From their parents.

    And where did your grandparents get their thoughtware?

    From their parents, and so on.

    You are using unexamined thoughtware passed down from generation to generation for thousands of years.

    You are using very old thoughtware.

    Just because you are using certain thoughtware does not mean it is the optimal thoughtware for you to use.

    Updated thoughtware exists.

    How often do you update the software on your phone or computer?

    When was the last time you updated the thoughtware in your mind?

    Did you ever have a class in school about upgrading your thoughtware?

    If you do not think about what you are thinking with you will use the same Standard Human Intelligence Thoughtware that everyone else uses, which is what got you into the problem in the first place.

























    Memetics: the study, detection, creation, transformation, and application of memes.


    Memetic Engineering is an inner transformation process (Inner Permaculture) typically applied in the context of Possibility Psychology.

    The connection between Possibility Psychology and Memetic Engineering is the well-known Possibility Management assertion:


    Something completely different from this is possible right now.


    One of the differences between Possibility Psychology and other schools of Psychology is that Possibility Psychology is centered on nonlinear possibility as a resource for healing and transformation, rather than trying to achieve analysis and understanding.


    You will comprehend how Memetic Engineering uses nonlinear possibility as a resource when you experience the transformational efficiency of the shifts occuring during a Memetic Engineering healing and transformation process, as described in sections below.


    'Content' is the facts and formulas you are given in school years and media to think about.

    In comparison, 'thoughtware' is what you use to think with.

    School does not investigate thoughtware.

    In fact, if you could not already think, they would not have let you into school.

    This means you already had your thoughtware before you went to school.

    So where did you get your thoughtware?

    From your parents, before you went to school.

    Where did your parents get their thoughtware?

    From their parents.

    And where did their parents get their thoughtware?

    From their parents before then.

    This means that you are using thoughtware that has been unconsciously handed down from generation to generation for thousands of years.

    You are using very outdated thoughtware.

    Other thoughtware is available.

    Think how often you update the programs in your phone or laptop.

    When was the last time you even inspected the thoughtware you are using for the most delicate and important internal and external operations in your life?

    You are using Standard Human Intelligence Thoughtware.

    It is no wonder you are helping to create the less-than-wonderful results we human beings are creating on planet Earth today.

    You are probably still trying to be reasonable in a culture that is annihilating life on Earth at the fastest possible rate.

    You might want to rethink your commitments.

    You might want to consider upgrading your thoughtware.


    Resistance to upgrading your human thoughtware can come from your implicit awareness that between shifting out of using your old thoughtware and before activating your new thoughtware, you are cast into the void of nothingness where you have no thoughtware. This is the Gap In Thoughtware.


    The name of the experience of being in the gap between old and new thoughtware is a multi-body Liquid State.


    What do you feel in the Liquid State of falling into the Gap in Thoughtware? Fear.


    If it is not okay for you to consciously experience and express high intensity fear then you will reflexively - that is, automatically and unconsciously - block any process of upgrading your thoughtware.


    Being a victim of fear, being uninitiated into consciously feeling adult and archetypal levels of fear, forces you to continue using very outdated thoughtware. In other words, you are using S.H.I.T. thoughtware.


    Contrary to what you might assume, thoughtware does not occupy only one body, the mind.


    Thoughtware does not only involve thoughts.


    Thoughtware shapes the way life-energies flow through your Energetic Body. In this way, thoughtware shapes who you are, what is possible for you, what you are aware of, what you can take authority for, etc.


    In this way, your thoughtware shapes the way you are regarded by the Universe.


    Your thoughtware is a central determinant of what the Earth Coincidence Control Office (E.C.C.O.) can do with you, what alchemical ingredient you can be for them in causing an evolution of consciousness process for you, for another person, for a local or global gameworld, or for the Earth's morphogenetic field.


    SPECIAL NOTE: If you experience your current life as somehow stagnant, somehow stuck, if your work or love-life seems stale, if excitement seems to be passing you by... it could be your old thoughtware.

    • If your thoughtware shapes who you are as a Being, your possibilities, your ability to take responsibility and authority in a gameworld, and,
    • If E.C.C.O. (Earth Coincidence Control Office) puts people into different circumstances to participate in different processes of the evolution of consciousness, and,
    • If it feels like you have been going stale, getting bored, standing on a shelf collecting dust for a long time in the E.C.C.O. office, and,
    • If you are mad as hell and are not going to take it anymore, then,
    • If you upgrade your thoughtware so that your Being takes a different shape, then suddenly you offer new possible ways for E.C.C.O. to use you in their evolution of consciousness processes. Voila! Your circumstances mysteriously change! Yes, Liquid States of thoughtware-upgrade changes might be scary... and... so?


    Although they were not explicit, distinctions about memes and Memetic Engineering have been key contributors to Possibility Management's efficacy ever since Clinton Callahan activated his first Research Team in San Luis Obispo, California, in 1975.


    These distinctions were formulated into Possibility Management thoughtmaps when Callahan delivered the first Expand The Box training in March 1998 in Hamburg, Germany.


    Since then, Memetic Engineering principles, distinctions, and procedures have been at the core of Possibility Management adulthood initiations in Possibility Coaching, Possibility Mediation, Feelings Practitioner sessions, Inner Permaculture, and Possibility Labs.


    However, formalizing 'Memetic Engineering' into a specific personal-development healing and initiation process began only in 2018, after the Possibility Management Trainer Guild had already been delivering Expand The Box trainings for twenty years.


    Why has it taken so long for Memetic Engineering itself to appear? Several theories give hints:

    • A Memetic Engineering Client needs to be able - to some degree - to inner navigate and consciously feel. Twenty years were needed to develop the clarity and effective training processes supporting people learning to consciously feel.
    • A large enough body of Possibility Management Trainers needed a particular degree of professionalism and competence to have the Matrix to effectively create and navigate the subtle precisions of a Memetic Engineering process space.
    • We have figured out that successful emotional healing processes can bring a person into the small HERE, small NOW, and small 'I' conditions of the Adult Ego State. This alone is a remarkable victory, both for the Client and the Trainer, and unfortunately it is still rare on planet Earth... Yet it turns out that stability in the Adult Ego State is necessary but not sufficient to propel a person through the doorway into the Archetypal Domains where human beings can finally fly. The breakthrough came in early November 2017 at Irena Goikolea's Amalura Center near Bilbao, Spain during the Intimacy Journeyer Training when for the first time Anne Lovis Schmid spontaneously diagrammed the 5th Body - the Archetypal Body - on PM's traditional 4 Bodies thoughtmap. Suddenly it became evident that even if other conditions might be optimal for accessing the 5th Body, blockages could also be memetic. If a person's Being is still imprisoned in their survival-purpose Memetic Construct, their Being cannot fly in the Archetypal Domains.







    Ian Mackenzie - how to occupy the noosphere

    Jeremy Rifkin - mirror neurons and the Empathic Civilization (RSA mindmapped)

    Derrick Jensen - on detecting faulty memes

    Clinton Richard Dawkins - on originating the term 'meme'


    the bones of the matter


    Your Meme Construct is located deep inside of your Being, but ever since you made your Meme Construct, you have been living inside of it.

    Up until now, you have not owned your Meme Construct. Instead, your Meme Construct owns you.

    Your Meme Construct is a dead mechanical device, a machine. You stimulate it here, it reacts over there, in the same way, every time.

    The way out of the dead mechanical reactivity of your Meme Construct's survival strategy is through becoming fiercely aware of precisely how the parts of your Meme Construct trigger one another and work together.

    Awareness is the transformational force in Memetic Engineering.

    A Meme Construct con look like the inside of a mechanical watch.

    It moves, but it is dead.

    It operates like a robot.

    You can think of your Meme Construct as an old refrigerator that you have been living inside of for decades.

    Maintaining intense awareness of your Meme Construct as a 'Meme Construct' only happens if you are standing outside of your Meme Construct.

    In your daily life, when you hear the grinding gears of the Meme Construct, this is the signal to differentiate that you are standing freely inside of the vast inner space of your Being, and noticing that old prison-like Meme Construct doing the only thing it can do, over there, still making noises like an old refrigerator. You can ignore the noises.


    A useful relationship to your Meme Construct is the attitude of amazement.

    You can be amazed at the creativity of your survival oriented Meme Construct... You thought it up. You kept it operating all these years. That is amazing.


    By maintaining fierce awareness of your Meme Construct, you will find more space inside of your Being, space for unfolding qualities of Being that you may not even know are possible to activate.


    Staying aware of the construct will help you avoid re-enacting self-imprisoning, self-suppressing, or self-destructive patterns.


    Familiar but unhelpful thoughts come from your past, from the construct, from how it was in your whole life until now.

    By maintaining your awareness of the workings of the construct, you are outside of the construct. You enter a bigger space inside of you.


    The construct no longer dominates your actions or designs your future. Through taking conscious possession of your Meme Construct you step into a new future.


    Notice where your ideas come from. If they come from your construct, just see them as 'thoughts from the construct', like sounds from an ancient refrigerator. Just because the refrigerator is still there does not mean you have to go inside of it. Ignore it like the humming of the refrigerator. Awesome.


    Your original Meme Construct will eventually decompose all by itself and will fade away from lack of use.


    ORIGINAL ISSUE: I do not deserve kindness because... (many stories, both in this lifetime and in past lifetimes, e.g. I did something bad. I hurt others. I tried to give people the truth but they twisted it around to hurt others. So I caused the devastation of a lot of people through ignorance. etc.)


    I do not deserve kindness.

    If someone is kind to me, I would be tempted to be kind in return.

    If I am kind I would radiate goodness and originality.

    If I radiate goodness and originality then other people will come and take everything away from me, rape me, destroy me, demonize me, and abandon me... (again, substantiated by many stories from this lifetime.)

    Therefore, I cannot be kind to anyone.

    And, I cannot let anyone be kind to me.

    I do not deserve kindness.


    ORIGINAL ISSUE: Hashimoto disease - holding onto an unsolvable inner paradox conflict that has nowhere to go but your guts.


    The past was best. It can only get worse.

    If I keep the world from changing I will be safe.

    I must keep the fear of conflict and paradox in me because being exhausted is familiar and safe.

    I am not allowed to be present because then I will shine.

    If I shine, things will change for the worse.

    Going into the future keeps me out of the present so I don't shine.

    I want to go into the future to know what will happen before it creates pain.

    Trying to know what will happen in the future is an exhausting paradox, but the exhaustion is familiar.

    If I am already good at something, it comes from the past so it is best.

    I have to do what comes from the past even if it does not nurture me.

    If I force myself to have to do something that does not nurture me, I won't shine.













    Memetic Engineering is the detection, creation and transformation of memes.




    Memetic Engineering is an archetypal conversation technology through which you have the possibility to observe in detailed slow-motion the memes that you use everyday to interact, create, move, make offers or block yourself.


    Below you find examples of a Memetic Engineering Introduction, several Memetic Engineering Sessions, and a couple of Memetic Engineering Wrap-Ups.


    Before studying them, it is important to highlight that memes are neither good nor bad, right or wrong. Memes are memes, and each memes creates particular results in a person's life.


    Through becoming intensely aware of the particulars of your meme-construct you find yourself standing outside of your meme-construct, looking at it from the outside. Without changing or dismantling your meme-construct you suddenly have more freedom of movement than the meme-Construct would allow.


    In a Memetic Engineering session, the Memetic Engineer holds no intention for you to use or not use any particular memes. Use whatever memes you want. Simply be aware of which of your memes is choosing your memes...


    The purpose of a Memetic Engineering session is for you, the Client, to become fiercely aware of the Meme Construct you have assembled as your core life strategy.


    Awareness itself causes alchemical transformation.

    (Alchemical Transformation is transformation that catalyzes the evolution of consciousness.)


    • If you take on Meme B to contradict or counteract Meme A, you are still controlled by Meme A.
    • Your Meme Construct determines how you live your life.
    • Any part of your Meme Construct that you do not own, owns you.
    • If you are not living in fierce awareness of your Meme Construct then you have no other options then to enact your Meme Construct. Awareness of the Meme Construct gives you freedom from the Meme Construct.
    • A Memetic Engineering Process begins with an Introduction and ends with a Wrap Up.
    • If a person is interested in adult presence, unfolding their own potential, or offering Memetic Engineering as a service to others, a Memetic Engineering session usually takes about 90 minutes and is available from Anne-Chloé Destremau for a sliding scale of 150€ to 250€ payable by personal PayPal transfer.


    NOTE: By explaining a few distinctions you set the context for the extraordinarily safe but profound space of a Memetic Engineering Session.


    Memetic Engineer:

    • As we begin, I would like to explain what I mean by the word 'meme', which is a term coined by Clinton Richard Dawkins in his 1976 book The Selfish Gene.
    • A 'meme' is comparable to a 'gene', in so far as a 'gene' is the smallest instruction for the design of your physical body, and a 'meme' is the smallest instruction for the design of your intellectual body, your mind.
    • A meme is an idea in its simplest state, formulated as a distinction, a story, a conclusion, or a statement of how things are.
    • (NOTE FOR THE MEMETIC ENGINEER: A meme is a Declaration that you formulate in Verbal Reality so as to shape Experiential Reality. Becoming responsibly aware of memes and developing skills in Memetic Engineering is a Wizard initiation. To explain, the Aramaic/Hebrew phrase 'abruq ad babra' is a declaration that means, "I create as I speak.")
    • To be clear, a Memetic Engineering process is different from an Emotional Healing process. In an Emotional Healing process we use emotion as a doorway. We follow the emotion back to its point of origin, and discover old decisions you made in a time where those decisions made sense. Decisions continue to do their work on your 5 Bodies even if you forgot that you made them.
    • In a Memetic Engineering process process uses the current meme you are wrestling with now as a doorway. We follow the meme back to its point of origin, which is your Memetic Construct. In Memetic Engineering, being able to consciously feel is useful, but not central. If a feeling or emotion comes up during this process, please experience it because that will allow you to be more present with what is actually happening. But we will be doing Memetic Engineering, a process from Possibility Psychology.
    • What we have discovered is that each person has built, at the core of their Being, a 'Memetic Construct' that serves as an interface and translator between your Being and the outside world.
    • Your Meme Construct is built out of somewhere between three to ten memes.
    • What we are going to do now is have a very close look at your Memetic Construct.
    • We are not going to analyze or judge your Memetic Construct.
    • There is nothing wrong with your Meme Construct. It has served you well because you have survived.
    • We are not going to try to change your Memetic Construct in any way. It is not broken, and it is not wrong or stupid.
    • Again, your Memetic Construct works just fine, doing exactly what it was intended to do, allowing you to survive.
    • What we ARE going to do is look with excruciating clarity at exactly how your Meme Construct is put together. We want to see how it works. We want to see its entire simplicity. That is all.
    • We will go very slowly, straight down into your Meme Construct and become intensely aware of how it is put together.
    • I am asking you to sense out all of its component parts.
    • Becoming intimately aware of your Meme Construct gives you more clarity about what is going on in you and why.
    • Awareness itself is a transformational force.
    • At some point in the process you may feel embarrassed to be seen so clearly. This is natural. You may feel angry or scared about feeling so exposed. If you feel this, just tell me. These are appropriate feelings because we will see your bare bones, so to speak. You may feel shy about admitting that this is the Meme Construct that you built for yourself, but this was the best you could make at the time, and it has worked until now.
    • Again, we will not judge or criticize your Memetic Construct. We only want to see exactly how it works. We want to look at it.
    • There are no right answers to my questions. Do not try to give me right answers. Just tell me how it is put together in there.
    • Do not have the intention to try to change anything. Your Meme Construct is not broken. It works perfectly doing what it does. Trying to change it is a totally different purpose. We only want to become aware of what is there.
    • Without analyzing anything, just tell me what it is like in there. Describe how the pieces fit together.
    • I will be writing down almost everything that you say to make a trail of our process. This will force us to go slowly and clearly. That is what we need to do.
    • Memetic Engineering is primarily experiential, not intellectual.
    • Going into your mind to try to figure something out will not help us. Your Memetic Construct is not in your mind. It is in your Being.
    • You will sense out your Memetic Construct experientially. It is deep in your center. You will find it by sinking down out of your mind and into your Being. Please 'feel around' in there and report how the world is put together for you.
    • Do you have any questions?
    • Shall we begin?
    • Please tell me the thing that is up for you now...


    Client:'s Original Issue:

    I have been seeing a man I am attracted to. We could even work together on a project. I would love to do that, but every time we get together it soon explodes and we go flying away from each other.

    Memetic Engineer:

    You are not able to negotiate intimacy with this man, and especially not able to make appropriate and workable boundaries with him. You are not able to say "Don't ever do that again!", or, "I am not available for this!" or, "Stop!" Is that a thing for you?


    Yes. I feel like I need to get stern and react emotionally to protect myself. I'm not all in.

    Memetic Engineer:

    What does this mean "I'm not all in"?


    I'm ongoingly terrified to make the wrong decision.

    Memetic Engineer:

    We are asking to you to go into the Construct that you use to interact with the world, particularly that part of the Construct that is informing you "I'm not all in." When you are in that part of the Construct, look around and tell us what you see. What does it mean "I'm not all in"?


    I'm not all in because I'm scared.

    Memetic Engineer:

    It would be scary to be all in. (PP uses a Completion Loop so the Client feels heard.) What is so scary about being 'all in'? Please sense into how it is put together?


    If I commit I will be strangled.

    Memetic Engineer:

    How strangled? Physically, emotionally, energetically?


    If I'm all in, I have no option. I'm stuck. I can't take care of myself. I am not being heard.

    Memetic Engineer:

    If you are all in, you are not being heard, and you can't take care of yourself. Then you are in prison.


    (Shows sadness.)

    Memetic Engineer:

    It's important to feel this sadness. Can you say what the sadness is about?


    I'm alone because of this. I can't show myself because of this. I must stay small.

    Memetic Engineer:

    What motivates you to be small? What happens when you are not small?


    I have no voice. I cannot have a voice. It's not allowed to have a voice.

    Memetic Engineer:

    Something will happen if you have a voice.


    I won't be accepted. I won't be loved. I will be judged. I will lose love.

    Memetic Engineer:

    Why is that? How is having a voice connected to losing love?


    If I say something the wrong way, then I go invisible.

    Memetic Engineer:

    You keep yourself in this smallness prison so that you won't say things the wrong way.


    Yes, when I spoke my truth, he went away. When I was younger.

    Memetic Engineer:

    You couldn't speak your truth and not react. Speaking your truth chases people away.


    It seems like I can't access my truth, because I must protect myself from losing love.

    Memetic Engineer:

    The construct is not allowing you to access your truth. You have your truth, but your construct blocks you from accessing it.


    Speaking my truth doesn't work. If I show up in my full power, if I have a voice, I will be rejected. Therefore, I have to be small. If I go into my full power, I will hurt people.

    Memetic Engineer:

    Where does that come from?


    I can't trust my words.

    Memetic Engineer:

    When you react - the thing that come out and hurts people - what is the purpose?


    The purpose is to protect myself through attacking others. Otherwise I have to let go of what I want and be who they want.

    Memetic Engineer:

    You have a mechanism that destroys the possibility of actual intimacy. You destroy closeness before it happens. It is your reactivity, the thing that explodes out of you and hurts people by making them wrong.


    I had to do this with my dad. I had to give up myself. I had to fit into his strong expectations. My dad removed his love when I didn't fit his expectations. I had to give up myself to be loved.

    Memetic Engineer:

    That was true back then. That was the best way you found out to survive around your dad. You have learned at lot since you were in that situation. You've learned how to consciously feel, to distinguish between feelings and reactive emotions, to keep your center, to notice your Box and your Gremlin, etc... The alternative to giving yourself up and reacting is to negotiate intimacy. To go 'all in', your Construct is telling you that you have to give up yourself. Why do you hold on to this idea of going 'all in'? Where does this idea of going 'all in' come from? What would be an alternative to going 'all in'?


    I need to please people so that I am loved.

    Memetic Engineer:

    How can you be loved when you are not even being yourself?

    It helps to become extremely aware of the Construct that you built in there to survive your early world. Can you tell us how your Construct goes?


    If I go 'all in', I cannot protect myself. I can't be heard and I don't have a voice. Speaking my truth is not allowed. Then, when I'm not heard, I react (loudly, forcefully, aggressively) because if I don't speak loud enough then the message doesn't get across. I will be a victim if I don't speak.

    Memetic Engineer:

    You reactivity is your attempt at taking care of yourself.


    Yes. Otherwise I will be judged, criticized, abandoned, and I will lose love. If I go 'all in' to a relationship and surrender, if I give the other person all the power, then I can't take care of myself. I have to give myself up. So my reactivity is to take care of myself.

    Memetic Engineer:

    You just found the core design of your Construct: React, or die.


    Yes. (Tears.) React, or die. That's it! React, or die. But my reactivity kills intimacy. That's how intimacy ends for me, for my whole life. It comes down to: Be alone, or die.

    Memetic Engineer:

    By neutrally looking so closely at your Construct, by describing it so clearly, you move to the outside of the Construct. Suddenly you are no longer trapped within the mechanical workings of your Construct. Instead you are inhabiting more space inside of yourself. Can you feel that? There is plenty of more space inside of yourself to inhabit now. Do you see what you have just done? You own the Construct now, rather than your Construct owning you.


    But what is the alternative to this 'all in' and reacting or dying?

    Memetic Engineer:

    The alternative is to negotiate intimacy. As soon as you notice the 'all in' mechanism getting activated, trying to react in order to save you from abandoning yourself, that's the signal that it is time to negotiate:

    - Here is what I need.

    - Tell me what you need.

    - What's your purpose/ intention?

    - What's my purpose/ intention?

    - Let's find a way that we both get what we want.


    I feel such a relief.

    Memetic Engineer:

    Yes, you are outside of your Construct but inside of yourself. You have a lot more space in there. Can you tell us what your experiment could be to practice living in so much new space?


    I'm going to make an offer to other people to negotiate what I want and what they want, so we can both get what we want. Before I was 'all in' or die. Now, I can just ask for them to make me a better offer, and make better offers for them.

    Memetic Engineer:

    Yes, you hold the Red Cloth to the side and let the bull come charging past you, while you stay in relationship but do not go 'all in'. Negotiating is about: "Tell me what you need and want. This is what I need and want. We are creative Being. Let us create it so we both get what we want."


    Thank you.


    Client's Original Issue:

    I don't know if I'm helping anybody.

    I don't know if I'm doing what I'm supposed to do.

    I don't have the sense that I am exactly where I'm supposed to be.

    I thought I could shift more easily.

    I'm afraid that I don't have a circle. That it is *person A* 's circle.

    I don't know how to provide for my circle.

    Memetic Engineer:

    You think that you have to provide something to your circle.


    Yes, I think I am suppose to provide something for my circle.

    Memetic Engineer:

    Before being part of this circle, which circle were you part of?


    Before was my family circle. I always knew my place in that circle.

    Memetic Engineer:

    What was your place in that circle?


    My place was being a sister, listening to them, helping them if they need anything. They can come to me whenever they need.

    Memetic Engineer:

    Do you think your personal circle should function the same way your family circle did?


    Yes. And now I'm wondering why are the people in my circle not calling me, they are only calling each other.

    I feel scared that I don't have anything else to provide them.

    If I don't provide them with something valuable then I don't belong to that circle anywhere.

    I'm used to being the one who has the most to provide in a circle.

    Memetic Engineer:

    Did you notice that you are mixing two things?

    You are mixing up being with giving a lot. (Memetically equating 'being in a circle' with 'giving a lot to the others in the circle'.)

    You think that 'being' equates to 'giving a lot', or 'having the most to give'.

    Where did that come from?


    Someone who is just being, being there, takes no stand. It's like not being there. There's no commitment to anything.

    Memetic Engineer:

    There's a different between 'giving' and 'taking' in a circle.

    Do you know that difference?


    Yes, one can either give space/attention/energy or take space/attention/energy from a circle.

    Someone talking too much can take more out of the circle than they give.

    Since this last training, I am confused what it means to 'be with' or 'be connected'.

    What I saw is that they would accept people's insanity, they accept all parts of them.

    I thought my job is to put people's insanity on the table and take it apart for them. Then they feel attacked.

    But when I accept all parts then my connection to them is fake.

    And people say I'm 'cold' or 'too serious' when I don't accept all parts of them without distinction.

    I am conflicted if I think something different about a person but don't say it. Then I think I am not authentic.

    I have a fantasy world that 'I can understand everybody' or that 'everybody understands and is can take responsibility for their own insanity'.

    These fantasies are not realistic.

    I have an ideal that people could share all their parts and come to a complete understanding with each other in a group, such as in an alternative community.

    This makes me think that if I do not share all my parts and come to an understanding with everyone all the time then I am not authentic.

    My thoughtware says that 'sharing everything is possible and desired'.

    Memetic Engineer:

    Where does that come from?


    It comes from when I was 23 years old. (with sadness).

    I wanted my family to understand where I was so I could feel better by feeling seen. I think that my sister and my mom saw me.

    I was going through a radical change-of-context in my life right then. I had quit my job suddenly after years studying for exactly that position. I was in a huge inner liquid-state. But now that I think about it, I realize that they could not truly see me.

    I did feel better because someone was there to listen to me.

    Memetic Engineer:

    How do you know when you have been heard? What is the experience of that? What clicks in you to make the experience that you've been heard?


    I don't know.

    Memetic Engineer:

    (Ignoring the "I don't know," response from the Client and simply repeating the questions.) How do you know when you have been heard? What is the experience of that? What clicks in you to make the experience that you've been heard?


    I feel heard when I see that other people understand how I created this whole construct for myself. They don't have to have the same construct. It is just important that they repeat back how I came to my conclusion and build my world.

    Actually, now I see that I built this circle of friends and colleagues so I could feel like I am needed in a bigger circle. But so far I have not been actually using that circle to serve the purposes I built it for. Now I will start using my circle and call them so they can hear me and see all my parts and how I built them. This is so relieving.


    Client's Original Issue:

    I don't feel anything. I don't feel happy. I don't ever remember ever feeling happy. Now and then I get irritated about things around me. That is all.

    Memetic Engineer:

    When did you decide it was not okay to feel?


    When I was twelve years old.

    Memetic Engineer:

    What happened then?


    My dog Domino died in a violent way.

    Memetic Engineer:

    How did it happen?


    I put Domino in the house because I was going to ride my bicycle down the street and I did not want him to run after me. It was too dangerous on the busy street. Just as I was driving away, my neighbor R rushed over to our house play with my brother. When they opened the door, Domino dashed out. They just let him out and did not stop him from running after me. They were not responsible. They didn't care. Domino ran after me and a car hit him. The driver stopped but did not do anything to help. Domino was in shock and I was in shock. I did not know what to do. He just lay there and bled out. (He feels nothing.)

    Memetic Engineer:

    When that was happening, when Domino was dying, what did you decide?


    I decided to stop relying on everyone and everything. I could not trust anyone to watch out for me.

    Memetic Engineer:

    What else did you decide?


    I decided that I could not trust life. At any moment something too painful could happen.

    Memetic Engineer:

    Life might be too painful for you.


    Yes. Life is something to get through with as few bumps and bruises as possible.

    Memetic Engineer:

    How did you feel about your brother and R letting Domino run past them out into the street to follow you?


    I was so angry. I hated them. Neither one of them has ever apologized to me for this. It is still between us now. We have never spoken about it. My parents didn't know how to be with me. They just wanted me to get over it.

    Memetic Engineer:

    This is a safe place right now. I am listening. I am being with you. Could you show me the anger that is still in your heart about this? Your heart is holding-on to this anger because it was never expressed. Your heart has its own words. They are simple words. It may feel strange because your mind will not know what your heart is going to say next. Please close your eyes and let your heart share that old anger in there with me.


    (With closed fists and an angry voice.) I hate you! I am so angry at you! You were so irresponsible with Domino! You didn't care! You just let him run out and now he is dead.

    Memetic Engineer:

    (After some time.) Thank you. (Pause.) You have a Feelings Detector on your chest in front of your heart that can tell what percentage big each of your four feelings is. What percentage big was that anger that you just experienced and expressed?


    I think that was about all of it. That was a lot of anger...

    Memetic Engineer:

    Actually, that was about 22% big anger.


    Really? How do you know this?

    Memetic Engineer:

    Right now, my heart is connected with your heart even though you are half-way around the world. Over the years I have gradually calibrated my own Feelings Detector. Since I can accurately detect what I am feeling, I can also accurately detect what you are feeling. Please use your hand and turn your Feelings Detector so that it registers what you felt as 22% big anger. Tell me when you are done.


    I am done. (Opens his eyes.)

    Memetic Engineer:

    Thank you. (Pause.) That was 22% intense anger. Are you okay? Check yourself to see if you are okay.


    Yes. I am okay.

    Memetic Engineer:

    Anger can only be experienced and expressed at 100% maximum intensity. Adult human beings are designed to experience and express feelings and emotions at 100% maximum archetypal intensity. You are learning to Inner Navigate your feelings. You are doing super. Would you like to take another step?


    Yes, I would.

    Memetic Engineer:

    Alrighty, then. You know where the anger is. You know how to let it get bigger and let your heart speak. Close your eyes. Don't hurt yourself, and don't hurt anybody else. These are the two rules. Do you agree?



    Memetic Engineer:

    Thank you. Go ahead. I am with you. I am listening.


    (Client gets louder and angrier than before. At this point the internet connection drops out for about a minute. By the time the Memetic Engineer gets the connection running again the Client is ending the anger.)

    Memetic Engineer:

    Please come to a stop. (Pause.) Please keep your eyes closed. (Pause.) Please check your Feelings Detector and tell me what percentage big your anger was just now.


    It was 30% big.

    Memetic Engineer:

    Yes! That is exactly right! It was exactly 30% big. Your Feelings Detector is now calibrated for anger. You are doing great with your Inner Navigation. Please check yourself and see if you are okay being at 30% intense anger.


    Yes. I am okay.

    Memetic Engineer:

    I want to ask you a question. Just at the end of your anger there was another feeling coming from your heart. Please keep your eyes closed. What is this new feeling?



    Memetic Engineer:

    Yes. That is sadness. Your heart is broken with so much sadness. Please let your heart share its sadness with me about Domino dying. Please let the wall break.


    (Slowly, gradually, the Client's face becomes sad.)

    Memetic Engineer:

    Yes. That is already 11% intense sadness. Now it's 15%, 19%...)


    (A small moan comes out of the Client's voice.)

    Memetic Engineer:

    Yes, keep going. Let it get bigger and bigger. Let sadness take you over. Fall into it and let the sobs out. Your body knows how to cry. Let it do this. You have kept the sadness in there for so long. Now it is time to let it come free. You are doing super.


    (Client feels bigger sadness.)

    Memetic Engineer:

    These emotions of anger and sadness have been in your heart for so long, ever since you were twelve years old. (Pause.) In some ways it looked like you stopped living when Domino died.


    Yes. Wherever he went then, I wanted to be with him there. We were so close. When he died, I stopped living too.

    Memetic Engineer:

    There is something you did not get to do with Domino. You did not get to tell him goodbye.


    Yes. That's right. I did not get to tell him goodbye for me, or for him, so we could both get on with our lives.

    Memetic Engineer:

    Please keep your eyes closed. You are now back on the street with Domino as he is dying. Stay with your feelings. Slowly reach out your arms and pick up Domino and hold him close to your chest so you can see his eyes.


    (Reaches out. Picks up Domino's energetic body and holds him close.)

    Memetic Engineer:

    Please tell Domino what you remember about your time together, about a time you shared.


    (Client tells of a summer day, walking together on trails through fields and the woods, playing around the whole day together.)

    Memetic Engineer:

    Thank you. Please tell Domino now, that when he died, a part of you died too, and that now you are in an process of learning how to consciously feel so you can come back to life.


    (Client shares the story with Domino.)

    Memetic Engineer:

    Ask Domino if he would please tell you an experiment to try that will help you come back to life.


    (Asks Domino, and then sits in silence.)

    Memetic Engineer:

    What did he say?


    He said, "Jump over the wall."

    (Both Memetic Engineer and Client start laughing out loud from deep in their bellies. Domino's suggestion has so much intelligence and simplicity.)

    Memetic Engineer:

    It looks like you are feeling another feeling right in this moment. You have already started feeling anger and sadness. What is this new feeling?


    It is joy!

    (Client says this softly with a smile of surprise on his face. He then opens his eyes in disbelief.)

    I am feeling joy!

    I can feel it, right here around my heart.

    My heart feels joy! (Client looks up with wonder.)

    I have come back to life.

    Memetic Engineer:

    Yes. You have jumped over the wall around your heart. (Pause.)


    (Looks delighted and relieved.)


    Client's Original Issue:

    Nobody truly sees me.




    Memetic Engineer:

    Could you please review for me how your Memetic Construct is put together, how it all hangs together and works.



    I do not deserve kindness.

    If someone is kind to me, I would be tempted to be kind in return.

    If I am kind I would radiate goodness and originality.

    If I radiate goodness and originality then other people will come and take everything away from me, rape me, destroy me, demonize me, and abandon me...

    Therefore, I cannot be kind to anyone.

    And, I cannot let anyone be kind to me.

    I do not deserve kindness.

    (Pause, with tears.)

    Whew... I never saw how this all works together before.

    I am somehow so relieved.

    Memetic Engineer:


    Here is the thing. The only way you can see all this at once is from the outside. Do you get that? On the inside, it owns you. On the outside, you own it.

    Becoming fiercely aware of your Meme Construct puts you on the outside of it.

    Now that you are on the outside of your survival Meme Construct you can take a look around in you and discover that you have a huge amount of additional space in there for truly living rather than merely surviving. Can you see that?



    Memetic Engineer:

    You did not have to take your Meme Construct apart. You did not have to fight it, or destroy it, or get rid of it. You only needed to become hyper-aware of it.

    Now you are on the outside of it.

    If you stop inhabiting your Meme Construct it will eventually decompose through disuse and fade away.



    Memetic Engineer:

    Were you ever in a room where there was some old refrigerator or dishwasher making noises in the background?



    Memetic Engineer:

    This is what it might be like with your Meme Construct. Sometimes it will make an annoying background noise. It does not mean anything. Your Meme Construct might also try to send an urgent request for you to jump back into it so that it can 'protect' you. That would be like putting a straight-jacket and handcuffs back on. Instead, you can notice the noise that your Meme Construct makes and tell yourself, "Oh, yes. That is the old Meme Construct making noise," then ignore it and go on about your life with vastly more space to create.


    You could also use the sound of the old Meme Construct refrigerator, whenever you hear it, as a reminder to do a particularly useful experiment, for example, to say a clear, "No," or, renegotiating one of your 5 Body intimacies.


    The irritating background sound from your old Meme Construct could be a reminder to practice. Your practice, for example, might be, instead of mechanically trying to make everything perfect, you consciously feel your fear of not knowing and let the space of the unknown speak its wisdom to you.




    As a Memetic Engineer, you might want to check in with your Client after a few days and have them repeat back their Meme Construct to you from A to Z. When they have done that you can ask, "What have you been noticing about your Meme Construct?" They might say something like, "My usual fear of people is just gone. The energetic flow of my daily life is completely changed around." What you are checking for is integration.


    Big surgeries like Memetic Engineering may sometimes require going through several layers. Completing an awareness expansion on one level might prepare the Client for going through two, three, or four more levels. More than this would almost never be needed.


    NOTE: The suggestions below might be important to explain at the end of a Memetic Engineering Session if your Client is new to conscious feelings and has not adopted the feelings and emotions distinctions of Possibility Management Thoughtmaps.


    Memetic Engineer:

    I need you to know that for the next few months it could be that big repressed emotions suddenly come welling up out of your heart for no reason. Please make time and space when they come up to feel them consciously and out loud, not just in your mind.

    If you are driving, please carefully pull over to the side of the road and experience and express the emotions out loud.

    It is wonderful if there is someone with you (in person or online) who can simply witness your emotions for you.

    You can tell them, "I am fine. There is nothing wrong with me, and nothing to fix. Please don't try to make these feelings go away. I have wanted to have my feelings back my whole life and here they are. Please just listen."

    Then go ahead!

    Also, when emotions come up, let's say fear comes up, please remember to say, "Welcome Fear. What do you have for me?" Or "Welcome anger, what to you have for me?" etc. Also with sadness or joy.

    Write down what your feelings or emotions have for you in your Beep! Book.

    Perhaps it is something you are longing for and have been missing.

    Perhaps it is something to watch out for, to change in a contract, a promise you made and forgot to keep, a boundary to make, or an intimacy to renegotiate.

    After you have written down the information and received the energy from your feelings and emotions, then you say, "Thank you."

    Later (3 seconds later... 3 days later...) you can decide what, if anything, you will to do about it. You do not have to do anything.

    Remember, feelings are for handling things. Emotions are for healing things.

    You have just reconnected to a huge inner resource for the rest of your life.


    Thank you.










    discovering the structure of madness


    It can help to explain to your Client at the outset that:

    • Memetic Engineering is a procedure from Possibility Psychology.
    • Possibility Psychology has the purpose of gaining practical access to new possibility, in comparison with the purpose of traditional Freudian-Jungian Psychoanalysis which is to understand.
    • The results of Memetic Engineering occur rather suddenly, often immediately, and the changes in awareness, viewpoint, and strategy tend to be rather permanent.
    • Thinking that you can un-do awareness as as deceptive as thinking you can un-pop popcorn, un-sprout a sunflower seed, or put a newly hatched chick back into its shell.
    • Memetic Engineering sessions and notes are private and confidential, for use by the Client only. Occasionally a Memetic Engineer asks permission from a Client to anonymously publish their session notes so that new Memetic Engineers can also learn. The gracious generosity and courage of Memetic Engineering Clients is the source of all the notes on this website.


    Memetic Engineering is typically done sitting in straight-back-chairs, face-to-face, in private one-on-one sessions in person or during a video call. It has also been done in a Café setting, or even on a stroll through the woods. The important ingredients are a quiet focused safe-space where every nuance can be perceived both by the Memetic Engineer and the Client, and where notes can be made to keep track of what is discovered.

    Occasionally a Memetic Engineering session is done within a circle of witnesses who are themselves developing their Memetic Engineering skills. Then afterwards a Q & A session is offered to explore practical distinctions.







    where to go from here...

    Identify Your Memes


    If you want to drink water for free, how can you do that?


    What you think with determines what you can think about.

    It is obvious that different people see the world differently.

    If three women start to do the same task, they will do it three different ways.

    What makes the difference?

    The difference is the memes they are thinking with.


    There are different kinds of memes.

    For example, there are opinions, beliefs, attitudes, behaviors, assumptions, expectations, conclusions, recipes, instructions, promises, declarations, decisions, questions, distinctions.



    Write down your beliefs.

    Write down your assumptions.

    Write down what makes you afraid and what you do to protect against it.


    Do you feel forced to think about how fat or skinny you are?

    How pretty or handsome you are?

    How much money you have or don't have?

    What clothes you wear?

    Your hair?

    What do your memes force you to pay attention to or to think about?


    What do your memes block you from perceiving or thinking about?


    What are you thinking with?


    What you think with is called thoughtware.

    Thoughtware is similar to the programs in a computer.

    By changing a program the same computer can do very different things.

    The same is true of a human being.

    Split Your Attention


    How can you be yourself?


    How can you innovate?


    Set Context

    Mind Machine

    Brain Splits

    Hidden Competing Commitment

    Expand The Box

    School Context Memes

  • Tim Tyler's thoughts about Memetics.

    Tim Tyler shares some theoretical considerations from his home-made book about memetics.

  • Note:This website is a Bubble in the Bubble Map of the massively-multiplayer online-and-offline thoughtware-upgrade personal-transformation game called StartOver.xyz. It is a doorway to experiments that upgrade your thoughtware so you can create more possibility. Your knowledge is what you think about. Your thoughtware is what you use to think with. When you change your thoughtware, you go through a liquid state as your mind reorganizes itself. Liquid states can bring up transformational feelings and emotions. Please read this website responsibly. By upgrading your thoughtware you build matrix to hold more consciousness. No one can do this for you. No one can stop you from doing it. Our theory is that when we collectively build one million more Matrix Points we will change the morphogenetic field of the human race for the better. Reading this whole website is worth 1 Matrix Point. Doing any of the experiments earns you additional Matrix Points. Please use Matrix Code MEMETICS.00 to log your Matrix Points earned at this website on http://StartOver.xyz. Thank you for playing full out!